Lesson 21: Fear
For many people math can be scary. When I was teaching algebra, I could see the fear in the body language of my scholars: arms folded, legs crossed, avoiding eye contact, quiet. You could tell they were scared to get the wrong answer because they were afraid of being judged for not being good at math. My job was teaching them to face their fear of failure so they could learn something new.
Today is my last day at my job, and it feels like the fear of failure is knocking at my door. Like my scholars, fear is telling me I need all the answers because people will judge me if I get the next step wrong. Instead of learning algebra, I am learning how to be a CEO. Ben Horowitz, cofounder of the venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz, said in his book The Hard Thing About Hard Things, “The first problem is that everybody learns to be a CEO by being a CEO.” That tells me I do not need all the answers; I just need to be open to learning
In order to help my scholars face their fears, I followed three steps many teachers utilize: 1) I do, 2) We do, 3) You do. First, I would teach them a new concept. Second, we would apply the concept together. Third (and probably most important), the student tries the problem on their own. Looking around the room, scholars transitioned from a fear of failure to a confidence in their competency. The problems did not magically get easier, you simply grew a new skill. Becoming CEO requires facing the fear of failure because ultimately you are not defined by failure - nor success. I will be defined by my mission.
My mission is to increase representation of Black leaders at the executive, investor, and board level. Yesterday, I met with Adrian Mitchell, Chief Financial Officer and Chief Operating Officer at Macy’s, Inc., and he gave me this advice: “If you can see yourself in the role, then you can get the role.” As a Black executive of a Fortune 500 company, Adrian gives me the courage to aspire to be an executive myself. Representation is important because it helps us find courage as we constantly face our fears. Whether I succeed or fail is not the point; it is about constantly learning to solve problems for which I do not have the answers.
It makes sense to be scared since I quit my job, but it does not make sense to let fear stop me from believing in myself. Entrepreneurship Through Acquisition will give me the opportunity to serve as an executive, investor, and board member, all in one. Now that I have accepted that fear is a normal part of the journey, I can focus on my mission.
Fear is Lesson 21. Next week, I will share Lesson 22: Expectations.
